Sometimes people cross a line that is difficult, if not impossible to step back over. In my battle toward forgiveness (yes, it is a struggle), I am playing tug of war with my instincts for self preservation and comfort. In other words, safety and well being.

If a person lies to you, and then asks your forgiveness, what does that mean? Once trust is shattered, there is no switch on the wall that you can flip and restore things to the way they were. Nor would such a mechanism be wise.

To live is to discover facts about the world around us. Nothing has changed except our awareness. The hot oven rack is still hot. Do not touch it without a pot holder or making sure it has cooled first. The blister, even after it has healed, will remind you to protect yourself.

When you realize a person has lied to you, you no longer have the option of trusting them. It would not make sense.

So what is forgiveness? I’m not sure. Maybe forgiveness is an honest assessment which takes into account a person’s strengths as well as their weaknesses or limitations, and deciding that they are worth wearing an oven mitt.

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