Recently, I’ve had a fundamental shift in my thinking.

Family relationships are complicated. I’m grateful for the upbringing I have had, and for the opportunity to travel the globe.

What usually happens in America, is that you get parented for a while, and then you go out on your own into society. There is a reason we don’t stay. This is normal. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t have stayed with my parents. We were expatriates in a third world country. I floundered for years, with no roots and few long term friends.

My brothers and I spread out across the world, discovering or creating our own lives as adults. We’re not dependent upon each other, and we don’t communicate with each other all that much.

I have never felt respected by my family. If they respected me, they never let me know. I’ve had some clues in adulthood, that they valued me and even admired me, but these came as a great surprise. And maybe too late.

I’ve never felt I’ve lived up to their expectations, and I don’t care to. I don’t believe in things that they believe, and they don’t value what is important to me.

There is a difference between being taught something and believing something.

I don’t take the Bible literally. I don’t think missions are good for the world. I wish western culture didn’t steamroll over other small cultures. I don’t believe in heaven and hell. I don’t believe we’re born evil and in need of salvation.

I don’t need all the answers. I would rather be kind and open minded.

I no longer need my family of origin. I love them, but we don’t need each other. I don’t need their permission or blessing. I don’t need their advice.

That sounds negative, but I don’t have anger or resentment. I don’t have regrets.

I love my life and the family I have created.

One day, I found myself as an empty nester, and I left my home to be a help to my family, but they didn’t need me. I didn’t fit into their busy schedules. Now I can relax, back where I belong.

With love, I release them all from any control over me.

My puzzle piece just doesn’t fit there.

The years continue to tick by. We age, and I find that I can only be content. I have no unresolved issues… nothing to make amends for.

I have a lot of happy memories of a life of peaks and valleys.