People regard me as a creative person because I paint and exhibit my work in various locations around my small town. I have done a few pieces of public art as well. I believe I am a creative person because I feel a drive to express myself creatively.

My art has changed a lot over the years, and continues to evolve as I go. Sometimes I look at my older pieces and cringe, and sometimes I see an older piece that feels very satisfying. We can’t change the past, and I don’t know if I would if I could. I definitely want to set myself up for a future that is open to adaptation. I want to take risks.

By creating with fluidity and flexibility, I can learn from every brushstroke. I can transform so slowly that it is imperceptible from one day to the next. Year to year, or decade to decade, there will be innovation. I don’t want to reinvent myself. I want to be me, but with a freshness that is compelling.

I often paint over old work, or sections of it. As long as I have it, it is never done.

Lines can be erased.

It’s not always easy to realize my vision. Sometimes it is too easy. I question myself when I focus on a result or a reaction, when I am hesitant, when I am afraid of messing it up. That’s when I need to loosen up, or maybe go do something else for a while.

Sometimes enlightenment comes in a casual comment. It comes from mundane things, and from unsuspecting delivery people. Sometimes the right word or phrase hits me at just the right time.

My brothers have a unique ability to inspire me, because our upbringing was similar and yet our impressions and responses are so different. I can get a new perspective on myself from them, and every one of them is articulate and reflective.

I can’t trust my own memories. They are colored and flavored.

I don’t think I have been accurate in assessing my own history. I’ve tried to measure up to a philosophy which was chosen and taught by imperfect people. I’ve amended that constitution where it did not ring true for me or speak to my mission in life. Instead, I’ve gone with my best judgement. I’ve arrived at conclusions that diverge from my early teaching.

It is validating to learn that I am not the only one. That the problem was not all with me.

The grid that I layered over my own thoughts and experience only masked my view of the world and my self identity.

The transparency was rigid, and because it didn’t line up, I believed I was not good enough.

By peeling away the unwanted layer, or wiping away the dry erase lines (I’m picturing an overhead projector), I am free to see my experience without the unwanted, unrealistic, unkind expectations that were superimposed against my will.