I’ve never been alone in my house for long. When I moved here, I was married, and we had two small kids. Then we had a baby. When the older kids graduated from high school, my wife left, and I still had Maddee here for about ten more years. Then I tried to fill the gaps. I tried dating.

I like to share my life.

I think experiences are more meaningful if I can share them with someone. I went on a trip across the country alone and drove right past the entrance to the Grand Canyon because there was no one to see it with.

The other problem is when you end up with the wrong person. A bad date, for example. There is something to be said for being alone.

Actually, there are things I like about being alone. Time to do projects without having to accommodate someone else’s schedule or needs. Or the way the house stays clean after you clean it.

I do like a clean house, but then I want to share it. What’s the point of a clean, dead house? It’s decadent. A big house for one person. Decadent and pointless. All it’s good for is taking a picture of. It’s made for a family, and so am I.

I think if I lived in this house all alone, I would just shrivel up. I don’t think I would have the motivation to do the things I love to do. Like when I went to North Carolina. I didn’t paint there. I didn’t write. I didn’t make pottery. I was depressed. I had the whole clean house to myself, and all the time I could want.

When Raymond and Summer came into my life, what can I say? They were my children. Like finding the puzzle piece that fits. It doesn’t replace the other pieces that also nestled into the contours of my life. Each piece does its part to complete the picture. And it’s not my picture. I’m just a piece fitting into Raymond’s puzzle, too. And Maddee’s. And Summer’s.

But as our case worker said, Raymond and I were a good match. We had an easy transition. I always thought this was because Raymond is so much like Maddee. Maddee always tells me how much she loves Raymond, and that he is perfect for us. Not perfect for ME. Perfect for US.