Please don’t

Please don’t ever tell a kid they were lucky to be adopted. No kid is lucky to lose their parents. No kid is lucky to wonder what was wrong with them, or what they didn’t do to keep their family together.

People choose to adopt.  Kids would never choose it. 

We all have trauma in our lives. Kids in foster care or adoptive familes have all that normal, difficult stuff plus a whole lot more. 

I’m the lucky one who got to have them in my life. They weren’t lucky to need me in theirs. 

Please don’t tell a foster or adoptive parent that they are a saint. I know people mean well.  We’re just people who wanted to be parents. Maybe we couldn’t do it the way a lot of other parents did.

Adoption can be a very good thing. It can meet needs for kids and for adults. It’s not easy. It’s not perfect. They’re not lucky. We’re not heroes. 

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